Seducing an Old friend

Things have been progressing Much slower this time around, which i suppose is a good thing, past experiences have taught us that things can become overwhelming very easily.
She's met a few new guys, Slept with two so far, one did not work out and she will not be seeing him again, long story short he lied about his relationship status, his "ex" But not really, got suspicious and called my wife's phone wondering what was going on. My wife stance has always been honesty if your married and cheating its fine with her as long as she knows, she likes to be prepared for the potential suspicious wife/girlfriend. the second is promising they had a little lunch date to get to know each other then met once after that very briefly. And i believe they are meeting again with in the next few days.

The real excitement came a few nights ago, She has this Friend who she had asked if she could do him, after some talking about potential issues (him being a friend before hand at all) I agreed. a few months ago she had told him she wanted to suck him off, he was interested but wary being he knows me and nothing about our arrangement. She never did get the opportunity, the other night he stopped by the house to pick something up, (as usual I'm out of town). She had told him "You owe me a kiss for being an ass the other day" (there had been a misunderstanding between the 3 of us about meeting for drinks when i was in town) he leaned down and pecked her on the lips, "No, No , No that won't do" So he leaned down and really kissed her. They went to sit on the couch and she reaches over and starts stroking his cock through his pants, he laughs nervously and she says "Dude you owe me" She unbuttoned her shirt and got down between his legs, she started blowing on his cock through his pants until he unbuttoned them, She licked and sucked and teased for awhile, then handed him her phone took off her pants sat down and threw her legs across his lap, he fingered her for a bit then she said "Now you need to fuck me" he laughed nervously again, she told him i knew about it and that he had to take a few photos for me and fuck her. so he nervously took down his pants and crawled between her legs and Fucked My Hotwife! This was also her first Bareback which turns out to be way hotter than i expected. She was so hot after this wishing i was there to reclaim her. but i couldn't be there, she has another FB thats been dying to get at her lately and i told her to go ahead and set something up, She was gonna get fucked twice by two different guys under 2 hours, But i fucked up! i started feeling a little jealous about how she had seduced her friend, i tried to tell her how i was feeling but i did a lousy job of conveying those feelings, the whole thing was very hot but i got up in my own head and... i fucked up. it didn't turn into a fight but it took an emotional turn and she never did go to meet guy number two. on the bright side i feel like the emotional conversation was very beneficial to me any way. everything happens for a reason and that conversation needed to happen.

Fear vs Jealousy

What is it about sharing her, why does it excite me, i read couple other blogs for example A Hotwife Guide , the basic idea of the blog is a how to guide for single guys to pick up a hotwife, i love the dynamic of this couple, they will go out to a bar or club and she will flirt or dance or whatever and he will watch from a distance usually, sometimes she picks up a guy for a 3 way sometimes she plays alone, but something about this seems fun and exciting. i do like to watch my wife come out of her shell, and thats what makes this strange im normally pretty jealous, but since exploring this lifestyle im discovering its less about jealousy and more about fear,  if i could get over the fear and thats what it is its not really jealousy, although jealousy is one of the emotions that pops up from time to time i can usually work through the jealousy i can talk myself down from there. But the fear, the fear that she'll find someone better, the fear that she'll find she prefers his company over mine. i think i know in my heart that this is stupid, i know our love goes deeper than any fuckbuddy. something i often do is turn the tables on myself, what if she was having these fears, what if i needed to comfort her and convince her she owned my heart, or what if she was filled with enough doubt to fear losing me. and i end up echoing her almost verbatim, i know whats in my heart, i know how tightly i will hold on to her, i know there is almost nothing she could do to make me love her less than i do now, iv never said this out loud but have thought it many times, she could flat out cheat on me, could have fucked half a dozen guys behind my back and i know id be right there giving her my entire heart and soul, i feel like most would read this and call me foolish, but its unconditional love i cant explain it and its a very vulnerable  and sometimes dangerous place to be especially giving yourself to the wrong person in this way. or maybe i am foolish and if thats the case I'm a damn fool but i love my hotwife.

what about you? the people reading this, are you involved in an open marriage, what are your fears, is it unconditional love or is it foolishness? have you ever loved one person so much that they could probably do no wrong and would you let them know?

Looking Within Part 1

Being the hubby of a HotWife, takes a lot of self discipline, you need to be very very secure in your marriage, you need to understand without a doubt that she Loves you, but has a sexual desire for variety, she wants and needs to experience more, (doesn't everyone have a little interest in variety, wouldn't anybody given the opportunity to experience a new lover without the fear of ruining their current relationship jump at the chance. Doesn't everyone look at others they find attractive and wonder what it would be like?

sadly every relationship hits that point where the newness is gone, she and i talked early on about doing everything in our power to keep that feeling, that spark. it's impossible, two people cant be with each other and still get the same butterflies when they first kiss, or when they first touch. She is my dream girl the love of my life! but i know when we kiss its not the same fireworks it was 8 years ago for either of us, I do remember our first meeting vividly and i will be writing a post about that in the near future. one thing couples can do to keep that spark alive is to explore new things, this hotwife and s/D lifestyle exploration, is just that something new something exciting.

I like to think I have a pretty good understanding of wants and desires, I also know I want to please her i need to please her, iv spent years trying to get her fantasies out of her, and slowly shes starting to open up, I want her happy and satisfied, but I want her love, i need her love, and I want her to be mine. can i feel like shes all mine while i share her like this? while letting her have her fantasies? I think i can but i need to be a part of it i need to be involved with choosing the potential dates, i need to know whats going on and what the plan is, this is something we can share this is a way to keep communication wide open, if you can honestly talk about this kind of thing, then you should be able to talk about anything.

When we first discussed this arrangement she offered me the same freedom, I saw very early on she was having an issue personally with the idea of me actually being with someone else, so I declined the offer, I will not sleep with anyone else. Do I want to? i admit the idea intrigues me, If she can be 100% ok with it then yes I would like to experience something like what she has experienced. But I don't have to. I'm currently very content being hers and hers alone, it's not worth it to me to ruin our marriage over this and she feels the same, if I for any reason was uncomfortable with our new arrangement it would end.

I'v been reading some other blogs www.thehappyhotwife.blogspot.com although im not sure id ever be comfortable with her being in a polyamorous relationship, i would like for things to mature to a level where i no longer need to know every detail, id like to be able to allow her ultimate freedom, the man i am right now would not be able to handle that but im growing and learning as we go, its a tricky walk along a very thin line probably more so for her than me, the way the agreement stands, I'm the one that has the most potential for getting hurt, and shes well aware of that. i do wish she would try to worry a little less about me id hate for her fears to ruin her new adventures. i am well aware of whats happening, i am well aware that theres a very thin line she walks, and I'm constantly keeping myself in check, yes its a challenge i ask my self if I'm sure I'm ok with this constantly, i get that uneasy feeling every now and then, and i'm ultimately afraid of losing her. but iv always been afraid of that. I'v always lacked self confidence, and thats my hangup,

 this lifestyle we are entering isn't about me or my hangups, its about her, and her desires, her satisfaction, her free spirit.
To Be Continued....