Saturday, March 29, 2014
Looking Within Part 1
Being the hubby of a HotWife, takes a lot of self discipline, you need to be very very secure in your marriage, you need to understand without a doubt that she Loves you, but has a sexual desire for variety, she wants and needs to experience more, (doesn't everyone have a little interest in variety, wouldn't anybody given the opportunity to experience a new lover without the fear of ruining their current relationship jump at the chance. Doesn't everyone look at others they find attractive and wonder what it would be like?
sadly every relationship hits that point where the newness is gone, she and i talked early on about doing everything in our power to keep that feeling, that spark. it's impossible, two people cant be with each other and still get the same butterflies when they first kiss, or when they first touch. She is my dream girl the love of my life! but i know when we kiss its not the same fireworks it was 8 years ago for either of us, I do remember our first meeting vividly and i will be writing a post about that in the near future. one thing couples can do to keep that spark alive is to explore new things, this hotwife and s/D lifestyle exploration, is just that something new something exciting.
I like to think I have a pretty good understanding of wants and desires, I also know I want to please her i need to please her, iv spent years trying to get her fantasies out of her, and slowly shes starting to open up, I want her happy and satisfied, but I want her love, i need her love, and I want her to be mine. can i feel like shes all mine while i share her like this? while letting her have her fantasies? I think i can but i need to be a part of it i need to be involved with choosing the potential dates, i need to know whats going on and what the plan is, this is something we can share this is a way to keep communication wide open, if you can honestly talk about this kind of thing, then you should be able to talk about anything.
When we first discussed this arrangement she offered me the same freedom, I saw very early on she was having an issue personally with the idea of me actually being with someone else, so I declined the offer, I will not sleep with anyone else. Do I want to? i admit the idea intrigues me, If she can be 100% ok with it then yes I would like to experience something like what she has experienced. But I don't have to. I'm currently very content being hers and hers alone, it's not worth it to me to ruin our marriage over this and she feels the same, if I for any reason was uncomfortable with our new arrangement it would end.
I'v been reading some other blogs www.thehappyhotwife.blogspot.com although im not sure id ever be comfortable with her being in a polyamorous relationship, i would like for things to mature to a level where i no longer need to know every detail, id like to be able to allow her ultimate freedom, the man i am right now would not be able to handle that but im growing and learning as we go, its a tricky walk along a very thin line probably more so for her than me, the way the agreement stands, I'm the one that has the most potential for getting hurt, and shes well aware of that. i do wish she would try to worry a little less about me id hate for her fears to ruin her new adventures. i am well aware of whats happening, i am well aware that theres a very thin line she walks, and I'm constantly keeping myself in check, yes its a challenge i ask my self if I'm sure I'm ok with this constantly, i get that uneasy feeling every now and then, and i'm ultimately afraid of losing her. but iv always been afraid of that. I'v always lacked self confidence, and thats my hangup,
this lifestyle we are entering isn't about me or my hangups, its about her, and her desires, her satisfaction, her free spirit.
To Be Continued....
Friday, March 7, 2014
First Date Final thoughts
First date a success, I'm not going to give a blow by blow (bwahaha good one bro -hi fives self) account of their evening, you can read that Here, I'm going to go through my feelings about last night. So my wife met another man at a bar, they kissed, they chit chatted for a bit, then went back to his room where she blew him, them they talked some more, the she fucked him, I'm oddly cool about it. I only say oddly because of how outside my norm all of this really is.
Originally kissing was a no- no as part of our preliminary agreement when we started this, I felt it was a bit to intimate for this type of arrangement, I thought it was something that should be kept between us. But ma'am is a very passionate woman, and kissing is a big part of the sexual experience, Iv been reading a lot of other blogs about hot wiferey and most of these wives do kiss thier dates, which got me on the path to being able to overturn this rule. Also I wanted her to be able to relax and fully enjoy the experience, if she had to keep herself in check and constantly try to remember not to kiss, that would end up being a huge distraction and a big stress point to the evening. As she and I talked about the night, as I read her account of the night and as I read the texts between her and John, I have these little moments where I start to get a little jealous, but since we have talked at length about this arrangement, and she has been very careful to remind me through out this experience, that I'm her number one and always will be, I'm able to stop myself and get a grip so to speak.
The night for me was very low key. They had shitty cell service and no wifi so only one picture came through. I spent the night just waiting to hear from her afterward, I wasn't as anxious as I expected to be, I was more excited to talk to her. It was around 4 am here when she called, she told me all about the night, while I strokes my cock, I asked some questions, the most important thing though was whether she had a good time and that this provided the release she was looking for, being away so much I can't be there as often as she needs me, this for me started out as a solution to that problem, I didn't expect it to become the hot adventure it's become. John was a perfect gentlemen, and has set the bar very high for the next few guys.
The original plan was to line up a few guys have her meet them do what she's gonna do and move on, no repeat visits, the stress and anxiety though that comes from that first meeting especially if the goal for the end of the evening is sex, makes being able to loosen up and be yourself a much bigger challenge, wev been talking and have decided we want to line up 4 or 5 guys that would eventually become steady FWB, the important part though Is that we keep a close eye on everyone involved am to be sure someone isn't getting romantically attached, with the right individuals involved this could be a great thing. She could have her own harem, no stable of cocks at the ready, she could set up 2 to 3 meetings a week have a variety of men to choose from and get her needs fulfilled.
As I reread this I realize it's not as tittilating as I intended, I think next time I need to try to write my entry as soon after I talk to her as possible, a lot of the emotion and excitement is gone at this point and trying to get deep into it proved much harder them I expected.
She may be meeting john for another romp this weekend so hopefully I'll have a better hubby account of that one.
Till next time,
Pet
Originally kissing was a no- no as part of our preliminary agreement when we started this, I felt it was a bit to intimate for this type of arrangement, I thought it was something that should be kept between us. But ma'am is a very passionate woman, and kissing is a big part of the sexual experience, Iv been reading a lot of other blogs about hot wiferey and most of these wives do kiss thier dates, which got me on the path to being able to overturn this rule. Also I wanted her to be able to relax and fully enjoy the experience, if she had to keep herself in check and constantly try to remember not to kiss, that would end up being a huge distraction and a big stress point to the evening. As she and I talked about the night, as I read her account of the night and as I read the texts between her and John, I have these little moments where I start to get a little jealous, but since we have talked at length about this arrangement, and she has been very careful to remind me through out this experience, that I'm her number one and always will be, I'm able to stop myself and get a grip so to speak.
The night for me was very low key. They had shitty cell service and no wifi so only one picture came through. I spent the night just waiting to hear from her afterward, I wasn't as anxious as I expected to be, I was more excited to talk to her. It was around 4 am here when she called, she told me all about the night, while I strokes my cock, I asked some questions, the most important thing though was whether she had a good time and that this provided the release she was looking for, being away so much I can't be there as often as she needs me, this for me started out as a solution to that problem, I didn't expect it to become the hot adventure it's become. John was a perfect gentlemen, and has set the bar very high for the next few guys.
The original plan was to line up a few guys have her meet them do what she's gonna do and move on, no repeat visits, the stress and anxiety though that comes from that first meeting especially if the goal for the end of the evening is sex, makes being able to loosen up and be yourself a much bigger challenge, wev been talking and have decided we want to line up 4 or 5 guys that would eventually become steady FWB, the important part though Is that we keep a close eye on everyone involved am to be sure someone isn't getting romantically attached, with the right individuals involved this could be a great thing. She could have her own harem, no stable of cocks at the ready, she could set up 2 to 3 meetings a week have a variety of men to choose from and get her needs fulfilled.
As I reread this I realize it's not as tittilating as I intended, I think next time I need to try to write my entry as soon after I talk to her as possible, a lot of the emotion and excitement is gone at this point and trying to get deep into it proved much harder them I expected.
She may be meeting john for another romp this weekend so hopefully I'll have a better hubby account of that one.
Till next time,
Pet
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
First date Update
It's on, they are In the room nude and iv received my first pic, she was sucking on his balls! I admit it was hot to see, I will say the key to surviving this is communication, we have talked a lot about this over the course of the last few weeks, it has helped to prepare me for this moment, it has allowed me to find the excitement and to be able to enjoy this moment. I will update later tonight or tomorrow sometime after iv gotten the details from her.
I want to close by saying I love my wife more than words will ever say, this experience although surreal is exciting and has done wonders to bring us much closer.
I want to close by saying I love my wife more than words will ever say, this experience although surreal is exciting and has done wonders to bring us much closer.
The first Date
Tonight's the night of her first "date" I'm sitting at my favorite bar grabbing dinner, she's on her way to meet ... Let's call him John, the plan is to meet for a couple drinks and a bit of small talk, to see if there's any chemistry, in my opinion there has been so much anticipation from all three of us that something is definately happening, they may not go all the way only because both, Ma'am and john are nervous as all get out. But I think they will end up naked at least, it's a very surreal experience for me right now, I have in the past been insanely jealous and protective when ever she would go out to a club or bar, but right now I am oddly calm, I think it's because iv agreed to this. We have ground rules and I love her so much. I made the comment recently that I live to serve her, I love nothing more than to give her pleasure and what better way to give her pleasure than to let her explore her sexuality to the fullest! She's worried about me and I appreciate that, I just hope she can let go enough to enjoy herself.
I never in a million years thought I would be the husband of a hot wife, technically I didn't even know what a hot wife was a couple weeks ago, but this has been fun, it's been exciting and It has brought us closer and allowed us to open a level of communication that had been lost. Now once everything goes down there's always that possibility that I realize iv made a mistake, but if that happens I will not blame ma'am or John I have agreed to try this if it doesn't work them we stop here, although I'm feeling really good and I'm very excited for her to report back later. I beginnig to think this could be the beginning of a very exciting future for us.
I never in a million years thought I would be the husband of a hot wife, technically I didn't even know what a hot wife was a couple weeks ago, but this has been fun, it's been exciting and It has brought us closer and allowed us to open a level of communication that had been lost. Now once everything goes down there's always that possibility that I realize iv made a mistake, but if that happens I will not blame ma'am or John I have agreed to try this if it doesn't work them we stop here, although I'm feeling really good and I'm very excited for her to report back later. I beginnig to think this could be the beginning of a very exciting future for us.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
The Beginning
Once we agreed on the preliminary rules and limits, it was time to start finding some suitable "dates". Part of the deal we have is that I will approve all men she meets, I love her like no other and her safety and well being are my primary concern. Also the men that want a piece of my sexy wife have to agree to a few conditions. Along with the normal list of hard limits, no anal, no kissing (more on this later), must wear a condom etc etc.they will have to consent to photos and videos being taken of the act, one of my favorite things about making love to my wife is watching her cum! And just because it's not me doesn't mean I won't enjoy seeing her cum. Her pleasure is my pleasure. So where does one go to find a man that's interested in a NSA (no strings attached) fling and will consent to pics and vid? Well... That's not as hard as you'd expect !!! Lol. We set up profiles with Adult Friend Finder and Fetlife and the guys just fell in line, I was going through some of the most surreal chat sessions ever, trying to figure out if the dude was a standup guy, needed to be sure he could respect our situation and respect her, I had to know I was sending her with someone safe, and I also had to be sure he understood our rules. Some guys bailed once they heard about the pics and vid, some guys I rejected because I wasn't comfortable with them, some guys she rejected because she either wasn't comfortable or wasn't attracted. On any given day we had 5 to 7 guys in different stages of the interview process, we kept talking about different scenarios, like an after noon where 3 or 4 guys met her one after another, I had to set up a database in order to keep them straight and where they sat on the approval process, she couldn't keep them straight, she was acting like a right and proper slut flirting with up to 8 guys at a time through different chat services, I was starting to feel like it was getting out of control, but she seemed to be enjoying it, so I kept my mouth shut and just kept judging and approving or rejecting men for her, at the end we had 5 cocks lines up and soaring for a date with my wife and one guy who we both liked but was a smoker, so we offered him the ultimate incentive to quit, I even offered him dinner, drinks and am evening with my wife in a hotel room if he could quit smoking for a certain period of time.
One night she came to me asking to discuss possibly changing the kissing rule, I kind of already assumed this would come up, and I was honestly open to discussing it, but i apparently did not handle the conversation as well as I should have. I just wanted her to try to convince me why it should be changed. I really wasn't looking to start trouble, but trouble I started!! The main reason I ruled kissing off limits was because I was brought up being roughy that kissing was a very intimate thing, but in the world of hotwifery kissing is viewed very differently and I was willing to bend. Maybe I wanted her to work for it a little maybe I didn't want to just roll over and offer her the change. Maybe I didn't want to make it too easy. This conversation went so far south so quickly I regretted ever resisting at all. Lesson learned choose your battles with your HotWife very carefully. As iv said before I'm the pet she is the ma'am who the hell did I think I was trying to make her work for anything, i definitely need to learn my roll better, this discussion led to the entire agreement being put on hold, but we also quickly learned we were each escalating this into uncomfortable levels thinking the other was more into it, is filmed how hot the idea of more than one guy was, she took that and tried to impress me, I thought it's what she truly want ed and went along with it and encouraged it so she upped the ante while I called her bluff it was the most fucked up sexual poker game ever!! Luckily we recognized what was going on and was able to step back regroup and reproach this whole thing much more realistically
As I close out this post, the current tally is 5 men on deck, one in a holding pattern until he can quit smoking, I still have guys messaging wanting to know how to get in on the action. And her first date scheduled for midweek with a guy I can only describe as the perfect first. Still trying to figure out what his faults are.
One night she came to me asking to discuss possibly changing the kissing rule, I kind of already assumed this would come up, and I was honestly open to discussing it, but i apparently did not handle the conversation as well as I should have. I just wanted her to try to convince me why it should be changed. I really wasn't looking to start trouble, but trouble I started!! The main reason I ruled kissing off limits was because I was brought up being roughy that kissing was a very intimate thing, but in the world of hotwifery kissing is viewed very differently and I was willing to bend. Maybe I wanted her to work for it a little maybe I didn't want to just roll over and offer her the change. Maybe I didn't want to make it too easy. This conversation went so far south so quickly I regretted ever resisting at all. Lesson learned choose your battles with your HotWife very carefully. As iv said before I'm the pet she is the ma'am who the hell did I think I was trying to make her work for anything, i definitely need to learn my roll better, this discussion led to the entire agreement being put on hold, but we also quickly learned we were each escalating this into uncomfortable levels thinking the other was more into it, is filmed how hot the idea of more than one guy was, she took that and tried to impress me, I thought it's what she truly want ed and went along with it and encouraged it so she upped the ante while I called her bluff it was the most fucked up sexual poker game ever!! Luckily we recognized what was going on and was able to step back regroup and reproach this whole thing much more realistically
As I close out this post, the current tally is 5 men on deck, one in a holding pattern until he can quit smoking, I still have guys messaging wanting to know how to get in on the action. And her first date scheduled for midweek with a guy I can only describe as the perfect first. Still trying to figure out what his faults are.
Becoming her Pet
She was an exhibitionist when we met, lots of men would fantasize about one night with her, myself included, she was my dream girl, she was the Pamela Anderson poster on my wall, she has occupied every fantasy I had, somehow I made that dream girl mine! And I married her. Me, I'm not an exhibitionist, I'm not incredibly out going, and I'm only mildly adventurous. But the rush i feel when she behaves like herself, when she drags me out of my comfort zone, or when she would do something crazy causing me to cringe. And I think this is where things started to change. I believe she mistook my cringe as a negative, and started to tone down. She started to stifle herself, she didn't want me to be uncomfortable, was I uncomfortable? Yes some of the time, but I didn't mind, it was a rush it was excitement, i was living vicariously through her. And as she started to calm as her fire cooled, I didn't really notice it happening. But I slowly started noticing the boredom creeping in, I started wondering why don't I get those hot pics anymore, why doesn't she talk dirty to me anymore, and in turn I started feeling guilty for thinking of her the way I do, (I objectify my wife on a daily basis, ok ok hourly basis). She is, has been, and will always be my ultimate fantasy, and this doesn't mean I love her any less than the perfect couple down the street, this means I get to have my cake and eat it too! In fact I have never loved so completely, but my own insecurities, coupled with her thinking I wanted her to chill turned us into an incredibly boring vanilla couple, our bedroom had always been a bit freaky, we'd try anything once, and we'd repeat it if we liked it. But the vanilla was starting to affect that as well.
She asked me to dominate her, and I tried, boy how I tried. I am not a dom and no matter how hard I tried to be a dom I couldn't pull it off. For one I felt like I was just going through the motions I never really felt like I was I control, I kinda felt like she was allowing me to be In control, like a "isn't this cute he thinks he controls me" kinda way. And I'm not saying that's how she felt. What I'm saying is if I can't convince myself I'm in control than how is she supposed to believe I'm in control. Then one day we flipped it, she started to dominate me! I became her pet. And OMG how I loved it, it became very apparent early on that I have always lived to serve her, I get my most joy out of pleasing her. I believe we actually started out this way I have always tried to please her, my goal was always to make her happy, I have always been her pet, we just didn't have a label on it.
As we started talking about this new arrangement, ma'am and pet, she commanded that I draw up a contract, as we started talking about limits and guidelines she "jokingly" mentioned finding sex outside the marriage, quick explanation : I'm away a lot, she has a very large sexual appetite always has, but has always been faithful. she has a need that I can't fulfill in my absence, sure she could master-bate but that's not the same. I quickly rejected that idea believing it was a joke anyway, but something in the way she replied, she tried to come off as aloof or indifferent as if it were a joke all along, but i know her well enough to detect the disappointment, of course she never in a million years would have expected me to accept such an offer, but I was intrigued. So we talked I wanted her to convince me why and how this would work, we agreed that she would seek out a lover to try this with, the deal was that she would share all details with me. Like I said at the beginning she was always an exhibitionist and I was always watching. She extended the same freedom to me, only she didn't want the details. As her pet she would command I go to the store and buy condoms to have on hand, she commanded I go to a bar and while there she would text me asking if I saw anyone I'd be interested in, she knows I wouldn't have picked anyone up without her pushing. Never did pick anyone up and although she was pushing me into an affair i really wasn't feeling it, yes I look at other woman, yes I'm curious what sex with them would be like I think most men think this way, but I feel wildly uncomfortable approaching someone for a one night stand, would it be different if I got a couple under belt, probably but ... I have my dream girl why do I want anyone else? At the same time I noticed her trying to stay on board, I could see although she was pushing me to find a new plaything, she was uncomfortable with sharing me. But why am I ok with sharing her? Because I live to serve her and I am going to soo get off seeing her fantasies brought to life! Since she was having a hard time sharing me and I was having a hard time being shared so to speak, I declined the offer to find sex outside our marriage, it took a lot of convincing, she has a hard time believing that I'm not looking at this as tit for tat, just cause she can fuck random men doesn't mean I need to fuck random woman. Do I want anything in return? Yes I do... I want her to understand and recognize the ultimate freedom I have given her, I want her to appreciate me for allowing her to do this, and I want to be able to objectify her, and fantasize about her without feeling guilty for my deviant freaky and filthy mind.
More to cum
Probably
She asked me to dominate her, and I tried, boy how I tried. I am not a dom and no matter how hard I tried to be a dom I couldn't pull it off. For one I felt like I was just going through the motions I never really felt like I was I control, I kinda felt like she was allowing me to be In control, like a "isn't this cute he thinks he controls me" kinda way. And I'm not saying that's how she felt. What I'm saying is if I can't convince myself I'm in control than how is she supposed to believe I'm in control. Then one day we flipped it, she started to dominate me! I became her pet. And OMG how I loved it, it became very apparent early on that I have always lived to serve her, I get my most joy out of pleasing her. I believe we actually started out this way I have always tried to please her, my goal was always to make her happy, I have always been her pet, we just didn't have a label on it.
As we started talking about this new arrangement, ma'am and pet, she commanded that I draw up a contract, as we started talking about limits and guidelines she "jokingly" mentioned finding sex outside the marriage, quick explanation : I'm away a lot, she has a very large sexual appetite always has, but has always been faithful. she has a need that I can't fulfill in my absence, sure she could master-bate but that's not the same. I quickly rejected that idea believing it was a joke anyway, but something in the way she replied, she tried to come off as aloof or indifferent as if it were a joke all along, but i know her well enough to detect the disappointment, of course she never in a million years would have expected me to accept such an offer, but I was intrigued. So we talked I wanted her to convince me why and how this would work, we agreed that she would seek out a lover to try this with, the deal was that she would share all details with me. Like I said at the beginning she was always an exhibitionist and I was always watching. She extended the same freedom to me, only she didn't want the details. As her pet she would command I go to the store and buy condoms to have on hand, she commanded I go to a bar and while there she would text me asking if I saw anyone I'd be interested in, she knows I wouldn't have picked anyone up without her pushing. Never did pick anyone up and although she was pushing me into an affair i really wasn't feeling it, yes I look at other woman, yes I'm curious what sex with them would be like I think most men think this way, but I feel wildly uncomfortable approaching someone for a one night stand, would it be different if I got a couple under belt, probably but ... I have my dream girl why do I want anyone else? At the same time I noticed her trying to stay on board, I could see although she was pushing me to find a new plaything, she was uncomfortable with sharing me. But why am I ok with sharing her? Because I live to serve her and I am going to soo get off seeing her fantasies brought to life! Since she was having a hard time sharing me and I was having a hard time being shared so to speak, I declined the offer to find sex outside our marriage, it took a lot of convincing, she has a hard time believing that I'm not looking at this as tit for tat, just cause she can fuck random men doesn't mean I need to fuck random woman. Do I want anything in return? Yes I do... I want her to understand and recognize the ultimate freedom I have given her, I want her to appreciate me for allowing her to do this, and I want to be able to objectify her, and fantasize about her without feeling guilty for my deviant freaky and filthy mind.
More to cum
Probably
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