Looking Within Part 1

Being the hubby of a HotWife, takes a lot of self discipline, you need to be very very secure in your marriage, you need to understand without a doubt that she Loves you, but has a sexual desire for variety, she wants and needs to experience more, (doesn't everyone have a little interest in variety, wouldn't anybody given the opportunity to experience a new lover without the fear of ruining their current relationship jump at the chance. Doesn't everyone look at others they find attractive and wonder what it would be like?

sadly every relationship hits that point where the newness is gone, she and i talked early on about doing everything in our power to keep that feeling, that spark. it's impossible, two people cant be with each other and still get the same butterflies when they first kiss, or when they first touch. She is my dream girl the love of my life! but i know when we kiss its not the same fireworks it was 8 years ago for either of us, I do remember our first meeting vividly and i will be writing a post about that in the near future. one thing couples can do to keep that spark alive is to explore new things, this hotwife and s/D lifestyle exploration, is just that something new something exciting.

I like to think I have a pretty good understanding of wants and desires, I also know I want to please her i need to please her, iv spent years trying to get her fantasies out of her, and slowly shes starting to open up, I want her happy and satisfied, but I want her love, i need her love, and I want her to be mine. can i feel like shes all mine while i share her like this? while letting her have her fantasies? I think i can but i need to be a part of it i need to be involved with choosing the potential dates, i need to know whats going on and what the plan is, this is something we can share this is a way to keep communication wide open, if you can honestly talk about this kind of thing, then you should be able to talk about anything.

When we first discussed this arrangement she offered me the same freedom, I saw very early on she was having an issue personally with the idea of me actually being with someone else, so I declined the offer, I will not sleep with anyone else. Do I want to? i admit the idea intrigues me, If she can be 100% ok with it then yes I would like to experience something like what she has experienced. But I don't have to. I'm currently very content being hers and hers alone, it's not worth it to me to ruin our marriage over this and she feels the same, if I for any reason was uncomfortable with our new arrangement it would end.

I'v been reading some other blogs www.thehappyhotwife.blogspot.com although im not sure id ever be comfortable with her being in a polyamorous relationship, i would like for things to mature to a level where i no longer need to know every detail, id like to be able to allow her ultimate freedom, the man i am right now would not be able to handle that but im growing and learning as we go, its a tricky walk along a very thin line probably more so for her than me, the way the agreement stands, I'm the one that has the most potential for getting hurt, and shes well aware of that. i do wish she would try to worry a little less about me id hate for her fears to ruin her new adventures. i am well aware of whats happening, i am well aware that theres a very thin line she walks, and I'm constantly keeping myself in check, yes its a challenge i ask my self if I'm sure I'm ok with this constantly, i get that uneasy feeling every now and then, and i'm ultimately afraid of losing her. but iv always been afraid of that. I'v always lacked self confidence, and thats my hangup,

 this lifestyle we are entering isn't about me or my hangups, its about her, and her desires, her satisfaction, her free spirit.
To Be Continued....