All of the following are possible scenarios that played out in my head some worst case, some just the natural progression of things, when i brought these thoughts and possibilities up she reasurred me that she would never do anything to jeapordize us, she would follow whatever rules we set (she is extremely greatful for this opportunity, there arent many husbands that would willingly allow this type of adventure and she knows that)
She's alone lot (correction we are both alone separately a lot) she is an amazing outgoing lively woman, she's the type that can make a best friend in the ladies room, she needs to be out but hates going out alone. When she started chatting with her potential dates some men talk about taking her out to dinner, or away for the weekend. I started to notice im going to have to be ok with her going out on actual dates, which is actually good she needs to be out she deserves to be out, but what about potential overnight stays? a couple of the men she was chatting with invited her to weekend getaways and while she declined (she hadnt even met them yet), but as time goes on after she has seen him a few times the opportunity for a weekend getaway will come up, originally i had said no repeats, and no overnights. My insecurities had me believing she'd meet someone better, and leave me and id have no one to blame but myself. but as we progressed deeper into this lifestyle, i started to realize im away too much whats to stop her from doing these things without my permission? she's honest and faithful i dont really think she'd ever do that but... what happens when shes finally had enough, enough being alone, enough nights with no intimacy or sex, enough of her basic needs not being met because i cant be there. We have a very special and very strong relationship, it took a lot for me to recognize how true this was. when i mentioned the possibility of overnights and that id be ok, she tried to assure that wouldnt be necessary, they will most likely be drinking, or parting ways late, some of these rendevous are an hour plus drive from home, id rather her spend the night with him than either of them risking an accident or DWI, and this made perfect sense, this option also began morphing she likes to take weekend trips to do some sightseeing or shoppiong and as she started thinking more about the possibilities of a having a man with her all night, she started thinking how much safer she'd feel in a strange town in a strange hotel with a man there.
now she has her lovers/companions, i also originally had a hang about intimacy between her and her dates at first i told her no kissing, i felt it far to intimate that should be something between two people deeply in love, this rule got tossed very early, we had a very deep conversation about our different views on kissing, it started to become apparent that by forbidding kissing i was stunting her experience, also my beliefs where based on some bull i heard or read when i was a kid. i lifted this rule right before she met her first guy, and i surprised her by asking for video of them kissing when they met a second time. seeing her with another man kissing him, fucking him, his hands all over her is incredibly arousing (i dont really understand it but thats for another post entirely)
once i had ok'd overnights and weekend getaways, i knew the possibility for cuddling was there, i could forbid it but when your fast asleep with another body next you its just instinct to cuddle up. as i explored all these possibilities i noticed that by imposing so many rules and expecting only so much to happen, i was setting myself up for failure, i cant send her off with another man for sex with a list of do's and don'ts, Imagine being given a new sports car but being told you cant go faster than 25mph. How is she supposed to enjoy herself if shes having to make sure she doesnt break a rule, in order to succeed, in order for me to allow her to get the most enjoyment out of this (that's what this is about, HER pleasure) i need to keep my feelings in check, i need to trust her fully, i need to understand that its human nature to Cuddle, Hug, Kiss, and Caress, and honestly whats the point of sex without any of these, without these its just assisted masturbation.
SO to answer the question i started with, i think our relationship is changing because my attitude has changed, this change has opened up a whole new realm in our Hotwifery, we are no longer searching for NSA, One Night Stands, or flings, we are searching for boyfriends, men that can and will provide companionship, satisfaction and protection, men that understand they are not the only one in her life, men that wont get too clingy or needy. We Are becoming a Poly couple, I am married to a very Polyamorous woman, and any man who has the pleasure of experiencing her is one lucky Motherfucker!
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